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‘In so moche that in my dayes happened that certayn marchauntes were in a shippe in Tamyse, for to haue sayled ouer the see into Selande, and for lacke of wynde thei taryed atte Forlond, and wente to lande for to refreshe them;
And specyally he axyed after eggys. And the good wyf answerde that she coude speke no frenshe. And the marchaunt was angry for he also coude speke no frenshe but wold haue hadde egges and she vnderstode hym not. And thenne at laste a nother sayd that he wolde haue eyren. Then the good wyf sayd that she vnderstood hym wel’

      —Caxton's Eneydos (1490)

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Here are a load of ways not to spell my name: Francis Morton Tyres, Francis Morton Tires, Francis Morten Tyres, Francis Morten Tires, Francis Morten Tyers, Frances Morton Tyres, Frances Morton Tires, Frances Morton Tyers, Frances Morten Tyres, Frances Morten Tires, Frances Morten Tyers. My name is Francis Morton Tyers but usually I just go by Fran.